This past week I was fighting a hard battle. I was having some vicious spiritual and emotional battles going on. I was barely functioning for a week. Everything was a challenge. I was trying to sift through issues and tackle them one at a time but I could only do so much. However, I was fighting to turn them over to God; even though I hammer it over and over again in my posts.
I had hit a point later in the week (Thursday or Fridayish) where I was so frustrated and beaten down that all I could do was cry. I felt like I had failed my husband, the kids, myself and especially God. I had fallen behind in school work, house work, and other general responsibilities. Sunday came and I felt like church is exactly what I needed to “reset” my struggles.
I sobbed during church. I couldn’t even sing a full song without bursting into uncontrollable tears. It felt like every song we sang was directed towards me or the battles I had fought the past week. I felt like God was doing some work in me, but why was it so hard to let go? It got to the point where I had to actually leave church, gather myself, and then come back in. I physically couldn’t stop the crying no matter how hard I tried.
This is one of the songs that we sang. It was definitely the hardest to maintain my composure (HA! More like black streaked face the entire song!)
I love this song and it is so true!
He was by my side through all my struggles, but Satan was battling back and made me feel like I was going at it alone. There was not one point where I was alone, spiritually or physically. God wanted me to stop fighting but I felt like all I could do was fight; fight to keep Satan out as best as I could.
He loves us and He is there for us. We don’t need to fight alone; He’s fighting for us and with us.