Over the last few weeks, we have been on our roller coaster of life. We’ve had some really good times and we’ve had some not so good times.
We knew as soon as we got engaged, our lives were going to be busy busy busy for the following months, but nothing could have prepared us for this whirlwind we’ve been caught up in for the last 6 months.
We went from engaged to married in 29 days, we had events with kids come up, we had personal events come up, but nothing could have prepared us for the last two events we have experienced; which, ironically, kind of work together in a sense.
A couple of months ago, we were beginning the hunt for a new home. The one we were in was cozy…a little too cozy. All four of us were crammed in to a two bedroom (legally 1 bedroom), with a cat and two large dogs. It was a single level home with a loft style upstairs and a semi-finished basement. The bathroom was only accessed through the master bedroom. Needless to say, our not-so-little family had outgrown the house and we were starting to feel it.
So, our search began. We learned quickly that the housing market where we live is either one extreme or the other with little to no in-between. You have mansion style homes that are $150,000+ or you have run down houses for $30,000-$90,000. The few that we did see that fit our needs square footage wise failed us in the amount of rooms we needed. So, we did what we always do in times like these; we began to pray.
I’m one of those people who knows that everything is done in God’s time, not mine, but I tend to forget that He knows when the time is best for us. So while we were strikeing out on houses, He was planning something great for our family.
I had hit discouragement but I continued to pray. One day after work, Shane found our “dream home” on his way to the post office. He read the sign and read the number and recognized it as someone who attended our church. He ran the idea past me and I immediately agreed that we needed to call on it. From the outside, he could tell that there was more than enough room for our family with room to grow, God willing.
We met up with the owner and we were able to go in and take a look around. We made it three rooms into the house and we both just knew that this was our home. It was warm, it had character, it was open, and there was plenty of room for the four of us and our three fur babies.
So, we began the process of funding and finalizing closing on the house. The process was moving quickly; as in, about 4 weeks from beginning to end fast. But, while we were giving thanks to God and enjoying the moments of pure joy, relief, and happiness, there were outsiders planting seeds of doubt in others about our family.
I thought I had heard all of the rumors about us that I could hear. We got married shortly after our engagement because I was pregnant. There were bouts of unfaithfulness. But the last one we heard was nothing short of astonishing. I won’t get into much detail but I will tell you this; it was big enough that it caused us to stumble backwards a bit and put some aspects of our lives on hold. We had thought that all rumors had been addressed, forgiveness was expressed on the parties that were affected (or at least acceptance, healing, and moving forward), and that we were on our way to a very happy next couple of months.
I’m not sure what hurt worse, the rumor that we were approached with or the fact that some individuals who know us inside and out believed it to a point. (Let’s be honest, if they 100% didn’t believe it, they wouldn’t have approached us the way they did and they would have been able to put the rumors to rest right then and there.)
I wrestled with the fact that this was supposed to be a time of joy, a time of Thanksgiving. God had given us this beautiful home, but we were having a hard time enjoying it because we were so focused on clearing up rumors, helping one another through it, and trying to find a way to move forward.
After a lot (and I mean A LOT) of prayer, we have finally reached a spot where we have accepted what trials God has given us and we are trying to find the lesson within it. The lesson I took: There are always going to be people (no matter how friendly, how loving, how supportive, how sacrificial you are) who will always try to bring you, your family, and your happiness/satisfaction with life down to their level. We vowed to one another that we would stand by each other in the good times and the bad times. This marriage isn’t just for the good times. Who would want a flawless marriage?
I’m also not one to pass judgment on the individuals who first started these rumors. Instead, all I have to say is that I’m praying for you. I’m praying that God will give you the courage to face whatever issues need to be faced. I pray that He will allow you to see the truth and give you the ability to celebrate it. I pray that He will show you love and compassion in ways that you have never felt before and that you are able to find peace in Him.
I am also not upset with those who addressed the rumors. I’m praying for you as well. I’m praying that God gives you a sense of clarity and understanding. I’m praying that you are able to understand and forgive all aspects of the situation. I am also praying that you are able to help and encourage us to heal through this situation.
But, in the mean time, I’m going to embrace my family, I’m going to take time to enjoy being a wife and a mom, and I am going to enjoy being a homeowner. I’m going to continue to grow in His word and I am going to continue to cling to Him when times get rough. I am grateful for all that God has given us and all that He has allowed us to see within the past year. He has blessed me with the best.