As the time is ticking down, I can’t help but feel this huge rush of different emotions. The 40 week wait is almost over!
As I was sitting in our game room talking with Shane, there was one question that I asked him: “How the heck did we get here?!”
For those of you who know us or that have followed or story on here, you know that 4 years ago, we were both on very different paths. Paths paved by the broken pieces of who we once were, the plans we had made for ourselves, and any type of feelings and emotions that were anything other than the feeling of being numb. Paths that eventually led to one another but not without some hiccups in the road.
I couldn’t help but look around at everything that has happened in the last 4 years and just be humbled.
As I looked down at my fully inflated belly, I got chills. I’m 40 weeks pregnant with a child I was told that I would possibly never have. I’m 40 weeks pregnant with the son that I had only thought that I would get to meet in my dreams.
Then I look over at Shane who is just taking it all in. He’s looking around at the wife he felt for so long he didn’t deserve, at the house that he’s put blood, sweat, and tears in order to make it our own, and my growing belly at another son that is soon to make his debut.
Seriously. How the heck did we get here!?
In a sense, the answer is so simple while in the same breath so complex. With everything that has happened, all aspects of our lives had to have been in the perfect place at the right time. There is only one answer as to how this happened – both when we were on separate paths and on the path that we are on now. God’s plan was bigger and the story is told with our shoes.
God’s plan for us was bigger than any called off wedding plans. Bigger than bone scans, blood work, and x-rays. Bigger than any doctor diagnosis based off of nothing more than ‘science’. Bigger than the legal “one bedroom” house that we were trying to raise a family in. Bigger than anything that we could have ever imagined and planned for ourselves.
It’s just such an odd mix of emotions to be sitting in this chair and feeling all of these feelings: excitement, anticipation, fear, joy, nervousness, happiness, anxiousness, calm, and the list goes on.
Truth of the matter is that within the next week or so, I will have a tiny babe laying next to me. Well, he will probably be in his bassinet or rocker and I’ll be staring down at him just in awe that my “slim chances” is laying right in front of me.
The picture of our shoes tells the story of our family. We have a daughter who is so shy and so quiet. But she slips on those shoes and walks across a stage and transforms into numerous characters while telling a story for judges and peers. We have a son that puts on his drill masters and marches across football fields and performs marching shows that he has put countless hours of practice into. I click my way across the floor at the dealership to work with my salesmen and their customers to help provide a good life for the two children we have. Shane puts on his boots daily and labors in extreme heat, extreme cold, and everything in between to be sure that all of us are well provided for and taken care of. Elijah’s shoes have yet to be worn. Those shoes will soon be the cause of the pitter-patter sounds running across the floor followed by the excited squeal of a toddler running away from his hard working father, his expressive sister, or his determined brother. It just seems so surreal…
How?! Just, how?
God is so good. If you give Him the chance, He works such miracles. His plan is bigger than yours. He will bring you places that you never thought you would go.
I just love this picture! Our lives have been so serious in preparation for our little guy that we needed a good laugh tonight! ❤